I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. (1 Corinthians 4:3-5 NIV)
Observation:
Paul is writing to the church in Corinth because there is division over who was taught by whom. Some claim that they should lead because they were taught by Paul, while others because they were taught by Apollos. In these verses Paul is saying that the root cause for division is pride and boasting (3:21, 4:6,7). Paul uses the greek word physioo for pride instead of hubris. Hubris is thinking too highly of one self. Physioo means being overinflated, swollen, distended beyond its proper size. According to Timothy Keller's book, the freedom of self-forgetfulness this suggests 4 things about the natural human ego:
1. Empty - there is nothing in the center of the human ego.
2. Painful - because there is something wrong with it, the ego is constantly drawing attention to itself.
3. Busy - it is busy drawing attention to itself by comparing and boasting. This is
how the ego tries to comfort itself. At the root of pride is competitiveness. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, but only having more than the next person.
4. Fragile - anything that is inflated is in danger of being deflated.
Paul's identity is not tied to what people think about him, nor in what he thinks of himself.
We think the only remedy for low self esteem is high self esteem, so we tell ourselves or others not to worry about what others think and set our own standards, but this is a trap. Our sins and our identity is not connected, nor are our accomplishments and our identity.
Paul has stopped thinking about himself, if he does something wrong or something right, he does not connect to himself anymore.
Application
We are all looking for the ultimate verdict that we are important and valuable. We are looking everyday, in every situation. It is self esteem that puts us on trial every day and in this courtroom there is a prosecution and defense. Paul has left the courtroom because the ultimate verdict is already in. He says it is only God that can pass the verdict, and he has already been deemed important and valuable by Christ. Based on grace and not performance. Romans 8:1, mark 1:11, Matthew 3:17. See Christ's performance has been imputed on us. Instead of performance leading to a verdict, we perform because of the verdict.
Although my mind wraps around this truth, my heart doesn't. I have to apply this truth by constantly asking myself what I am doing in the courtroom. My biggest challenge is tying the way I look with my identity, this is where the question needs to be asked the most. I don't have to live my life in the courtroom anymore. I am important and valuable!
Prayer:
Father, thank You for Your grace that has imputed Christ's righteousness on to me. I praise You that it is grace that deems me valuable and not my performance. When I start to drift back into the self esteem courtroom, please get my attention and quickly walk me out of that courtroom. The verdict is in, I matter to You!
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