Today was day 90 of my journey through Beth Moore's Book John, 90 days with the beloved disciple. When I set out on this 90 day adventure I wanted to learn more about John because his writing emphasized so much of God's love. I found it curious that he referred to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved. I was also struck by the fact that John was at the cross when Jesus was crucified. I see those two attributes and in my heart I want to be the person that remains when times get tough and all is going against my Savior, and I want to hear Jesus say to me, here comes Hope, the disciple who I love. Oh Happy Day!
As I began reading this book I was moved by how parallel things in my life that were going on seemed to match the reading for that day. When John wanted the glory of sitting on the right or left of Jesus, I too was struggling with selfish ambition. When John remained at the cross I too was having a fierce battle inside and remaining attuned to Jesus was becoming more and more difficult. And when I felt called to stay home and leave the ministry that God had given me to lead, John was imprisoned on the island of Patmos.
And last day of reading did not disappoint either. I have been struggling with feeling no longer useful and fading into obscurity. The job of mother and wife is not going to win any awards for success in this world, although I know this position is prized by God. But all those feelings faded when Beth Moore summed this last day of teaching up. I was once again blown away at how God knows in advance what word I will need even before I know I need it. Beth Moore said "Christ calls His beloved disciples to forsake ambition for affection. John moved from his "pillar" position in the Jerusalem church to relative obscurity. Better to pour out our lives in places unknown then to become dry bones in places we've always been." (John, 90 day's with the beloved disciple, p. 434).
Thank You God, thank you John, and thank you Beth for this amazing adventure.
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